Notes from a small group of Japanese islands

Being a bloke, the merits of one ladies hairstylist over another remains a mystery, although that said, Beauty Toshiko’s (ビューティー トシコ) decidedly bold approach of basing its banner,

on the bouffant once boasted by croaky crooner Bonnie Tyler,

suggests — considering the singer’s somewhat surprising lack of trendiness in Tokyo — that it could well go the same way as this sorry-looking salon.

If indeed its faded and fashion faux pas of a frontage isn’t already a fair old forewarning.

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With still another month or so to go before Japan’s burgeoning rice crops are transferred from the relative safety of the nation’s nurseries, to the far more perilous paddy fields, the country’s large and meticulously attired mob of migrant scarecrows are left with little to do to but wile away the time looking sullen.

Or scary even.

For those willing to pay the often mindboggling membership costs, or alternatively fork out the still substantial but far more affordable green fees, access will be granted to the eccentricities of golf in Japan, like big meals and beers midway round, and the slightly comical language localisation; including the almost cute ‘caddie-san’, as well as my own personal favourite, ‘Nice on!’. The seemingly ubiquitous ‘Nice on!’ being happily hollered every time a player manages to manoeuvre his ball onto the green, regardless of whether he happens to be bearing down on a birdie, or building up to an embarrassing bogey.

In fact, it has now become such an integral part of proceedings, that beverage giant DyDo has started selling this Nice On soft drink.

A soda that supposedly contains stuff like ginkgo leaf and maca, which is all well and good for a bit of a boost, but when all is said and done, it has been named Nice On.

Is that not novelty enough?

As a child, flying a little kite was tremendous fun, but in some parts of Japan, the ‘kids’, as well as being significantly more sullen,

aren’t nearly so small,

and the kites are mindboggingly massive.

This particular one in Sagamihara, just outside Tokyo, measuring a monumental 14.5 metres by 14.5 metres; its 950kg bamboo and handmade paper construction making it appear far from flyable.

However, with some considerable effort,

it can actually be coaxed into the air,

albeit briefly,

with even the old boys at the back bearing a bit of the burden.

While petrol prices are presumably a long way from their peak — if indeed a peak is even possible anymore — the situation certainly hasn’t hampered Toyota, with the Japanese giant consistently selling more cars than its competitors; the carmaker’s fuel efficient engines presumably having a lot to do with its soaring success.

A factor that could well be behind a noticeable slump in second-hand car sales in Japan, as consumers spurn cheaper, but at the same time less economical, motors. This decidedly sorry situation resulting in one Tokyo trader having to severely slim down his stock.

(click for image for less pixelated but equally pitiful pun)

The Japanese salary man’s commitment to the company and the demented levels of overtime this often demands are almost legendary, with even the term karoushi (death from overwork) having to be coined to cover such occurrences.

But not all employees are quite so industrious, as a sadly unnamed civil servant in Wakayama Prefecture was more likelier to have perished from an almost improbable profusion of porn than the pressures of his position, having been caught amassing more than 780,000 hits on pornographic web sites from June 2007 to February 2008 — the presumably far from busy fella having an especially steamy summer with a sensational 170,000 hits in July alone.

The man’s almost superhuman surfing only arousing suspicion after his computer was affected by a virus, with apparently nobody noticing his far from bureaucrat-based browsing as, “Each desk is set apart from each other.”

He has since been demoted and docked 20,000 yen a month, although how close his new desk is to those of his colleagues hasn’t been disclosed.

Whether it’s in relation to the past or present, Japan is certainly not lacking in national symbols, all the way from kimonos to cosplay, and Mount Fuji to manga. Plus, at least as far as more recent representations go, the confines of a capsule hotel are also commonly conjured up.

However, while this relatively recent addition – the first one opened in Osaka almost 30 years ago – may speak volumes about modern Japan’s dedication to the company and convenience, more than a few aren’t exactly tolerant of far older traditions, as, regardless of them gradually gaining more acceptance among the general public, the tattoo will simply not be tolerated.