Japan Unwrapped #11: Japanese girlfriends again

Since posting the last and now long since lapsed Japan Unwrapped series, one post in particular has had a surprisingly lengthy life-span — the one, perhaps predictably, concerning Japanese girlfriends. Now, admittedly I’m not exactly inundated with emails on the subject everyday, but on a fairly regular basis, a male somewhere in the world feels the need to make it known to me how much he wants a Japanese mate. And, as if I’m some kind of whizz in the world of wooing, how they can go about getting one.

Hello,



I’m 26 and from India. I really want a sexy Japanese girl as my girlfriend. They are so lovely. Especially those with short skirts and a pretty face.



How can I get one?

However, quite why the Japanese female is such a fantasy figure remains a mystery, although it could well be because many of the images that make their way online are not unlike the ones below. But sadly, such, erm, sizzling smiles aren’t seen everyday.



Yuri Ebihara

And neither are such mesmerising mammaries.



Nemoto Harumi

Plus, even if such peachy posteriors were as predominant in public are as they are on the net, the method of picking one up for more personal appearances presumably can’t be pared down to a particular procedure.

Rina Akiyama

There again, maybe I’m just grabbing the wrong end of the stick, as due to Japan’s fondness for fashion, and the perpetual preening and importance paid to appearance that partners it, the vast majority of the nation’s females are admittedly fairly fetching.

This then — giving the men who mail me the benefit of doubt — could well be at the heart of their feelings. A point perfectly proven by young Yuki here. As, while admittedly lacking the Photoshopped features of the beauties above, her meticulously maintained mien allows her personality to positively shine through.

cosplay cross-dresser

An effect only added to by her heart-melting modesty.

cosplay cross-dresser

Which presumably means the consistent arrival of mail looks set to continue, although for those with yearnings towards Yuki, I’m sad to say she isn’t single.

Sorry.

Japan Unwrapped #10: Japanese boyfriend

Dear Tokyo Times

Your recent advice to JJ about getting a Japanese girlfriend was all well and good, but what about us girls looking for a Japanese man?

Thanks!

Jules, Toronto

Well Jules, I’m even less qualified to answer this than I was with JJ’s question, but as a western woman you may suffer from being seen as both alluring and alarming – possibly at the same time. Yet that said, blonde hair and/or big boobies should see most Japanese men quickly allay any apprehension they may feel.

Plus as a bonus, if the former somehow doesn’t manage to get you a man, it could lead to some motorcycle-related modelling work.

Japan advertising

With the latter possibly providing a part-time bar position if they somehow don’t find you a fella.

Japan boob bar

Making it a no-lose situation.

Of sorts.

Japan Unwrapped #9: Japanese girlfriend

Dear Tokyo Times

Like Rod who wrote in recently, I’ve also been offered a job in Japan, but personally I’m much more interested in the females than the food. So without wanting to sound too desperate, do you have any advice about getting myself a Japanese girlfriend?

JJ, Boston

Hardly being a legendary Lothario myself JJ, I’m not perhaps the best person to give advice on such matters, but for starters, at least a basic knowledge of brands would undoubtedly serve you well. Big name bags along the lines of Louis Vuitton are incredibly popular with the ladies, so being able to pick out a Prada from a Puma would certainly be helpful. And with this in mind, the purchase of such products as presents is guaranteed to make you very popular indeed.

Japanese fashion

Immersing yourself in the complexities of ‘cuteness’ is arguably also a must, with the ability to coo uncontrollably over Chihuahuas or cry out ‘kawaii’ at a new haircut producing plenty of opportunities.

Japanese girls

And it goes without saying that feigning interest in famous felines will be a big aid in your action-related ambitions.

Japanese hello kitty

Perhaps most of all though, just being yourself and ignoring such stereotypical claptrap is best.

Japanese girl

Mostly.

Japan Unwrapped #8: Food for thought

Dear Tokyo Times

I’m lucky enough to have been offered a job in Japan, but along with the financial and family considerations of uprooting to Tokyo, being a vegetarian I also have a dietary dilemma. Will it be possible to eat out without any real trouble, or will a meat-free diet mean I’ll be mostly eating at home?

Thanks

Rod, Exeter

Well Rod, if you are reluctant to constantly have to pick out small pieces of meat from meals then you may indeed have some trouble, as descriptions of dishes that make no mention of containing meat, quite often do. And to make matters worse, the rigorous interrogation of restaurant staff may gain little insight into the true ingredients. Possibly resulting in an innocent order of this meat-free ‘green’ salad for example.

Japanese food

In fact, for a country that at one time ate next to no animals, the concept of vegetarianism is nowadays strangely unfathomable. So much so that a simple request of “Does this contain meat?” is often met with a puzzled expression and the comically inaccurate response of “No, only a little”

An especially vague answer that could mean just a few pieces of pork or alternatively a vast bowl of beef.

Japanese food

That said Rod, it is possible to regularly eat out, but for all the frustration you will inevitably face, adding at least chicken and fish to your diet would make your time in Tokyo far more fulfilling.

At least that’s what I opted to do.

Japan Unwrapped #7: Foreign faces

Dear Tokyo Times

Having recently rewatched Lost in Translation, I was wondering if western movie stars are still used a lot for advertising in Japan, or has the country’s economic problems meant that companies are less willing to pay out huge sums of money for a famous foreign face?

Thanks a lot.

Joe, Melbourne

Whilst the hey days of fading film stars flocking to Japan for fat pay cheques may well be over Joe, the fairly recent upturn in the economy has created more openings for the money-obsessed mega-star. David Beckham for one has amassed an absolute ton of money making comically bad commercials, and Cameron Diaz is now, quite literally, big in Japan.

Yet with the purse strings still relatively tight for many companies, far from famous foreign faces are often the only feasible option. Like mobile phone navigation operator, Navitime, which unfortunately has been forced to make do with an unknown fella with unfashionable facial hair.

Japan advertising

His fees presumably much more of an issue than his moustache.

Japan advertising

And there is also a lot of similar work out there for the ladies, although whilst this bikini-clad beauty is thankfully free of dated facial adornments, in these days of political correctness, her picture has a similarly retro feel.

Japan advertising

A campaign that perhaps doesn’t have the same impact as the one by Ms Diaz, but it does have a certain charm. The only blemish being the supermarket advertisement next to it, which can be a little distracting.

Japan advertising

(click images for bigger bikini-clad biker)

Japan Unwrapped #6: Landmark love

Dear Tokyo Times

Having recently visited Tokyo and realised that city planning is somehow seen as unnecessary, I was wondering how people find wherever it is they are supposed to be going? Ok, so admittedly a lot of cars now have navigation systems, but if you don’t have one, or happen to be on foot, what on earth do you do?

Thanks!

John, Illinois

Struggle most of the time John, although with the vast majority of restaurants and shops now having websites, detailed directions are often easily obtainable.

On the other hand, finding a friend’s house or apartment for the first time can be a fiendishly frustrating task, with a multitude of “Where are you now?” text messages and ever more manic calls a predictably familiar ritual.

That said, if you do manage to get in the vicinity of your destination, neighbourhood maps are fairly abundant. But as this one amply proves, they aren’t exactly user friendly.

Tokyo map

So invariably it comes down to landmarks, such as nearby shops and convenience stores. Like this fairly nondescript apartment building to the right for example, as those living there can help would-be visitors by saying it’s next to the petrol station.

Tokyo apartment

Or alternatively, above the opticians.

Tokyo apartment

However there are no shortage of such places in Tokyo, which makes the task easier but not exactly trouble free. So in what will hopefully become a new trend, the owners have rather thoughtfully opted to position an oversized ornament on top of the building, allowing them to also add that it’s just below the giant gorilla.

Tokyo apartment

A decidedly drastic approach it has to be said, but one that does its job and at the same time helps take attention away from drying laundry.

Tokyo apartment