Poor pic

Sometimes, really poorly taken pictures can turn out quite good – or at least interesting.

yabusame

Well, in a no-time-to-write-anything-proper-so-this-will-have-to-do kind of way.

(click image for added amateurism)

Fruit-flavoured folly

Sticking closely to the manufacturers mantra of ‘if it’s new, they will buy it’, Nestle has released yet another ‘limited edition’ KitKat.

fruit kitkat

Not that such biscuit based brazenness will deter gullible Japanese consumers from feverishly snapping them up – along with similarly weak-willed British-born bloggers.

Nag-free narcotics?

“He nagged only us. We hoped the drug might make him kinder.”

An excuse made by two junior high school students after being rumbled for lacing their teacher’s lunch with antidepressants.

After a trip to the hospital due to feeling dizzy and generally unwell, how ‘kind’ the 39-year-old teacher will be upon his return wasn’t disclosed.

Butlers and boy love

Tired of their manga and maid loving male counterparts having all the fun, Japan’s growing number of female otaku (geeks) have decided to hit back – the opening of a ‘butler cafe’ graciously getting things going.

swallowtail butler cafe

The Swallowtail coffee house in Tokyo’s Ikebukuro district is decked out like an English manor house, with customers subserviently greeted with a “Welcome home, Madam.” A concept that may seem a little odd, but it’s one that appears to have a ready-made audience, Emiko Sakamaki, the woman behind the eatery, explaining, “When I visited a ‘maid cafe’ last year, I thought there should be a cafe with a similar concept for women. And I saw people post some messages on the Internet that they wanted such a butler cafe. I thought the cafe could be accepted.” And accepted it has been, with tables being fully booked until May 12, the management asking customers to make reservations online to guarantee themselves a table.

Swallowtail’s vast majority of visitors it seems are women in their 20s and 30s, with Ayako Abe of K-Books – which runs the cafe and has several shops that sell manga depicting love between beautiful youths – explaining the market for such establishments by saying, “Our shops’ prime target customers are not women in their teens and 20s, but those in their 30s and 40s who got used to ‘boys’ love’ comics while they were young, and come to the stores with their daughters.”

Not that any such ‘boy love’ goes on whilst beverages are being served, with Swallowtail’s handpicked group of 20 ‘butlers’ having spent a month studying about various kinds of tea leaves and how to make a good cuppa. A training program however that may need a few minor adjustments, with visitor Noriko Suzuki commenting, “The butlers looked nervous serving tea and cake, but I liked the ambience of the coffee shop. I felt like I was peeking into the world of girls’ manga comics dealing with butlers.”

A focus on the cafe’s decor and atmosphere that Sakamaki-san believes differentiates the likes of Swallowtail from the decidedly less sophisticated places catering for males. “Men would not mind if maid cafes use cheap tables and pipe chairs as long as the waitresses are pretty”

A comment that may,

maids japan

or may not be true.

Hand job heterogeneity

For any frustrated male in Japan hankering for something other than his own handy work, a myriad of options are available; specialist outlets boasting a vast array of lifelike latex lady parts and even mechanical masturbators.

japanese handjob

However, for the bloke who’s a little bashful about buying such things, a homemade alternative is available; some cups, a few sponges and a bit of lubricant being the only requirements.

Yes, that’s it. A packet of plastic cups and some cheap kitchen accessories are all that’s necessary. And as the pictures below demonstrate, conjuring them into a captivating cranny is equally straightforward.

wanking aid

Then with the aid of a cleverly folded futon, it’s just a matter of getting the height and angle right.

futon

And away you go.*

For more details just click here. The text is unfortunately entirely in Japanese, but there are several more pictures – even an animated one. None of which contain actual genitalia, although whether such an omission makes it safe for work or not is debatable to say the least.

And if all that’s not enough, go and check out what the same enterprising chap can muster up with a bit of fake hair and some dodgy briefs.

briefs

*Reading material optional

Post-party?

Whether the establishment below will allow you to post a letter or withdraw from your savings account is unclear, although the option of leaving a small deposit could well be available.

hostess club

At the cost of a modest handling fee of course.

(click image for larger loveliness)