Never mind the Kubricks

For a brief spell during the 1970s, the Sex Pistols were the scourge of the establishment with their fervour and foul language.

But the passage of time can be a powerful force, as now, 30 years down the line, they have been kindly given the cute treatment; Japanese toy maker Medicom producing a Sex Pistols version of its popular Kubrick line of models.

kubrick

Johnny Rotten’s spiky and brightly coloured hair looking especially adorable.

Public performances

The close proximity of numerous neighbours means that for the average Tokyoite, there are restrictions on what can and can’t be done at home. Any hugely expensive surround sound stereo system may well be rendered useless by the pathetic volume levels permitted, and a spot of overtly vigorous nocturnal naughtiness could well result in knowing looks or averted gazes at the next neighbourhood watch meeting.

For budding musicians however the situation is arguably even worse, as anything above a tin whistle is more than likely to cause nothing but complaints and consternation. Meaning playing equals paying, with a practice studio offering the only viable place to go and cut loose.

Unless of course knocking out a few tunes at the side of the road isn’t too off-putting.

japanese musician

(click image for extra exhibitionism)

Golden globe

With the World Cup just around the corner, Japanese supporters can purchase all kinds of tournament related paraphernalia, ranging from T-shirts to teacups, and bras to breeches.

Yet for the truly fevered football fan hell-bent on forking out a fortune, department store Takashimaya has a ball for sale made of pure gold. And at 22 centimetres in diameter it’s the same size as the conventional balls set to be used in Germany, although weighing in at 3 kilogrammes, it is somewhat heavier.

gold football

Plus a little more expensive, boasting a price tag of just over 20 million yen (95,500 pound).

gold football

However due to a spate of injuries, including several stubbed toes and a chronic case of concussion, Takashimaya has been forced to issue warnings concerning usage of the product – particularly in regards to heading.

Lavatory linguists

The incredible commitment shown to ‘the company’ by the average salary man, resulting in long hours, regular drinks with the boss and minimal holidays, can have numerous consequences. Death from overwork (karoushi) is by far the most extreme, but there are also problems such as marital breakdown and mental health issues. And with such little time for anything other than work, the internationally minded minion also has very few chances to brush up on his English.

Yet thanks to an imaginative manufacturer, even the busiest of businessmen will now be able to manage at least five minutes of English study a day. As at the same time they are squeezing out, they’ll be able to squeeze in a bit of practice with this tutoring toilet paper.

japanese toilet roll

The section displayed even topically targets toilet related matters, with 1. Where is the rest room, and 5. It is a diarrhea feeling, being potentially very useful indeed.

(click image for larger loo roll)

Closet coverage

The school athletic meeting he’d been sent to cover was presumably far from fascinating for Naoki Watanabe, as instead of writing about race winners and stellar performances, the 29-year-old journalist hid in the toilet and attempted to secure some rather more salacious scoops.

Quite how Watanabe-san intended to incorporate this clandestine coverage into his final story will never be known, as the roving reporter was caught before he could get that far – a tip-off from a parent resulting in his arrest; although not before the 29-year-old had managed to film two women in an adjoining cubicle.

Thoroughly disgusted with its employees actions, the newspaper confirmed punitive measure will be taken against the young reporter, a company official kindly supplying other publications with an unintentionally pun-based proclamation by saying, “After getting to the bottom of the incident, we’ll take strict measures against him.”

Star style

With only the countless re-issues of the completed Star Wars series to occupy him these days, George Lucas has taken the decidedly unorthodox step of opening a chain of Japanese barber shops.

Each outlet is said to offer a specialist ‘star style’, with this particular one tempting bearded businessman with the ‘Lucas look’.

jedi shop

(click image for enhanced edition)

*Huge thanks to Richard for the photo.