Dear Tokyo Times
Like Rod who wrote in recently, I’ve also been offered a job in Japan, but personally I’m much more interested in the females than the food. So without wanting to sound too desperate, do you have any advice about getting myself a Japanese girlfriend?
JJ, Boston
Hardly being a legendary Lothario myself JJ, I’m not perhaps the best person to give advice on such matters, but for starters, at least a basic knowledge of brands would undoubtedly serve you well. Big name bags along the lines of Louis Vuitton are incredibly popular with the ladies, so being able to pick out a Prada from a Puma would certainly be helpful. And with this in mind, the purchase of such products as presents is guaranteed to make you very popular indeed.
Immersing yourself in the complexities of ‘cuteness’ is arguably also a must, with the ability to coo uncontrollably over Chihuahuas or cry out ‘kawaii’ at a new haircut producing plenty of opportunities.
And it goes without saying that feigning interest in famous felines will be a big aid in your action-related ambitions.
Perhaps most of all though, just being yourself and ignoring such stereotypical claptrap is best.
Mostly.
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Many Japanese women are quite interested in western men. Most seem to prefer a one-off exciting night with an exotic gaijin man, some are actually interested in a relationship. (There’s still some sort of stigma about dating gaijin.)
You will definatly do better than “back home”. You’ll find yourself getting a lot more attention from the ladies than ever before. Being a Buddhist country, casual sex isn’t a taboo in Japan. You may be misled to think that Japanese women are “easy”, this is incorrect. It’s just a different culture that takes sex a lot easier. This is good ofc!
The same general rules still apply though. Good looks and sharp attire will always get the most attention, and confidence goes a long way too. It also doesn’t hurt if your Nihongo is up to scratch.
Gaijin men can often be intimidating and Japanese women seem to prefer fun over macho, so smile a lot and be super fun and friendly, should work!
Have fun JJ
Wow…you’re a pro at Japanese women aren’t you.
You know the culture enough to say that they “take sex” a lot easier???
Is this a game??
What does being a Buddhist country have to do with it? I lived in East Asia for six years and I found practising Buddhists to be very moral people who certainly would not engage in casual sex. On the other hand, my country, Australia, which is nominally a Christian country, casual sex is certainly not taboo, either, and often engaged in by a certain proportion of the population. I find your implied slur on Buddhism offensive.
lol
I have no chance to go live in Japan
but I found a really cute Japanese girl online using Tokyotimes Friends. Still trying to figure out if she has a boyfriend or not, I’m too shy to ask directly
sanam ali my mobaile number 0308 3420885 0308 3229146
Daniel, I think Japan is shinto, not buddhist.
Yes, some Japanese language skill & smiling will go a long way. And don’t pick up the first offer that comes along. Many of these gals who target foreigners have probably slept with half the expatriate population in Roppongi. Hold out and know the market as there are many different ‘types’ of girls. In this country, it is possible for a average joe to date stunning, drop dead model types if that’s your thing. Then again, ONS are also pretty good if you dig it. I personally like the 3 strikes rule – do nothing the first 2 dates, home run on the third. Some planning required.
kevin, Japan is shinto AND buddhist. The point here is “not christian”, anyway.
JJ, sure you’ll be more successful here than back home… Potentially. You have to get used to that thought and built up your confidence to the max – it’s a winner trait, and you’ll need some if you wanna go for the models (trust me, you do. Your wallet doesn’t, but you do.)
I’m sorry to say that the kawaii/hello kitty loving stuff is more than bold stereotypes, though. Never ever tell a Japanese girl you hate chihuahuas or Disneyland; she might just drop dead on the spot!
Smile a lot, be funny and don’t hesitate to overdo things a little bit. I think the concept of “cheesy” never reached Japan; the lousiest pick-up lines and clichés seem to work just fine.
So all you have to do is GO FOR IT !
….and there’s always Soapland!
Hi there!
I want to meet Japanese girl in my country, Mongolia who are like to travel to. Waiting for you! If you need I send you my pic. Our country very lovely. I had been travelled in Japan, Thailand, Caombodia, Russia, and China.Good luck
Definitely true about the drop-dead model types here…easy to get a date or more by being friendly. Caution, though, it is a very different culture. A one-night stand or relationship comes with strings…a nice dinner, expensive gifts, etc…but, if you are willing to spend the money on making the lady’s evening nice, she will return the favor at the end of the day! Also, many of the “model” types are work in the entertaiment industry and very accomplished at getting into your wallet quickly. I’m now seeing a lingerie model who has also apeared in some TV commercials here. Absolutely stunning girl. I’ve learned to expect to take her to dinners at Nobu, drinks at the best clubs, and weekends at the beach staying in high-priced hotels, and buying her Coach purses and A&F clothes. But hell, where else could at 35 year old normal looking man date such a beautiful woman? Another nice plus…when you get a steady hook-up that is a true beauty, you get into all the hot places without a wait and sometimes without a cover charge. Good luck and have fun.
If you can get good looking girls in the United States, then you can get super hot girls in Japan. and thats all I gotta say about that. Japan girls go crazy if you are a buff gaijin that can speak Japanese, of course all girls have their types and not everyone one is going to like you, but a vast majority will. Trust me Ive studied abroad multiple times and have had my own share of experiences, both times the qoute un-qoute hottest girl in the school liked me , both had bfs at the time, and both still went for me like they didnt have bfs, I took one to a love hotel actually, and she still writes to me today. I just cant believe that such nice Japanese girls would just lead their Japanese bfs on, and just crumble to the gaijin bfs. It seems as if the girls always have their options open, but primarily the most unique gaijin will always turn out to be the winner.btw I am drunk right now so sorry if there are run on sentences but this just really go to me
If you can get good looking girls in the United States, then you can get super hot girls in Japan. and thats all I gotta say about that. Japan girls go crazy if you are a buff gaijin that can speak Japanese, of course all girls have their types and not everyone one is going to like you, but a vast majority will. Trust me Ive studied abroad multiple times and have had my own share of experiences, both times the qoute un-qoute hottest girl in the school liked me , both had bfs at the time, and both still went for me like they didnt have bfs, I took one to a love hotel actually, and she still writes to me today. I just cant believe that such nice Japanese girls would just lead their Japanese bfs on, and just crumble to the gaijin bfs. It seems as if the girls always have their options open, but primarily the most unique gaijin will always turn out to be the winner.btw I am drunk right now so sorry if there are run on sentences but this just really go to me
Hello My dear friend you are looking so good.
with your friends group and i know you are enjoying so much.
best of luck
plz i want a japanese girlfriend because i love japanese girls and wanna make one my friend
I am Ngima sherpa i am from Nepal. If you wants to make with me friendship I am ok.
Thanks you very much,
Lies , lies , lies ! ok. I m livimg in Japan for 6 months now . One girl on 200 is good looking . The rest are f…. ugly ! Im sory but is true ! Screw up legs , screw up teeth , thats the norm here . Jap girls are gold digers ! be very cereful guys out there . Very cereful !
They know English ,but dont wana speak , – Japanies f……pride . Jap pride man . Still pised becouse of the WWW2 THEY LOST BIG SO……THEY ARE VERY MAD.
f…..THEM i HAVE A GOOD LOKING BLOND GIRL WITH REAL TITS , NOT FAKE , LIKE IN jAPAN . SO….
Sounds like you’re still mad because you just can’t get the pretty ones to give you the time of day.
“Jap” pride eh? Sounds like you’re someone with white pride you racist.
Umm…and PS…..U.S. has the highest population of fake tits, botox lips and fake blonde hair. Go home if you’re so bitter bastard.
um “John” is it, quick question whats with the bad english yourself oh wait the link for you name leads to non existant address but in China. really now bashing another country while posing as someone from another country. thats just sad. especially since Chinese ladies are just as attractive as Japanese. you sir fail are a fail and shall have your name changed to fail, or xenophobic moron wichever
meow
There is absolutly no reason to mary a Jap girl . Totaly no true that they great wives . Bulshit ! They lie and they are gold digers . Its rear to see a good looking girl here .
Korians are better loking !
Get you selfs a good white girl from a small towne . thats it !
“Jap” girl eh?
Why are on this site then you racist. Sounds like you’re bitter too.
“they, they, they!!!”
you know….look for a good PERSON, not a good RACE
the term “Jap” is an actual racist term against Japanese people. why can’t anyone get it into their damn heads that they’ve been insulting japanese people by referring to them as “Japs”?!?!
kyo, I agree with you: I can’t understand why the use of the epithet “Jap” is so pervasive amongst native Asians. The derogatory term is well known throughout the West and would never be used in civil company, but on a number of occasions I’ve encountered native-born Asians use this term without realizing it is one of the worst epithets that can be used to refer to Japanese people.
i am looking for girl friends all over the world
Jap girls ARE easy, but they enjoy it as much as you. You think you’ve ‘had’ them, but wake up Sam, they’ve actually ‘had’ you. Sixty years of mixing it with the yanks has taught them all the tricks. Here today gone tomorrow is their motto – and grab what they can while they can. If you find a beauty she’s one in a million!
once again…anther guy the says “jap”
“jap” girls are easy eh?
so where did you learn their motto Peter?
you think you know a country so well so you can open your mouth?
racist
I WANT TO HAVE JAPANESE WIFE
Why? Did you read a pamphlet about Japanese wives?
Jap girls are silly, materialistic gold diggers! They use sex to get foolish westertern men to be their sugar daddy. They are lazy, do not want to work and just want to sit at home playing video games, surfing the internet, chit chatting online to trap more men while you are working your butt off to provide for them. They demand their sugar daddy to buy them brand name gifts, trips and jewelry. So don’t be fooled by their “innocent” look, guys! I’m warning you!
And you know this why? You had once bad experience and you generalize?
“Jap” eh? you damn racist.
get over it.
Hi,
I m from Turkish,my name is Oktay,I want to meet a japan girl,ıf you want say yes,I wait from you email..my msnger adresess oktaysanli@hotmail.com
kissingg to you
If you’re a white guy, you got it made! All you have to do is sneeze and a model will offer you a tissue (mild exaggeration, but not much.) If not, well, you might get lucky but usually you’ll be relegated to the Hip Hop skanks who have been through the entire American military. I recommend making some Japanese friends. If you’re with a Japanese guy it means you’re tamed in most girls eyes and relatively safe. Otherwise they won’t even stand near you let alone smile at you or do anything as inviting as they would for white guys. You might make some headway. You can always glam yourself up and pretend to be a producer scouting talent for a Hip hop video shoot in Tokyo. The girls might go for it. They’ll be super cute, but skanks nonetheless. But, hell, what are rubbers for. Enjoy.
http://goinglocoinyokohama.wordpress.com/
another expert
dude im from puerto rico and i noticed a lot of hot girl in japan . but some are trustworthy
Gentlemen listen up. Just like in the United States, there are girls worth your time and then there are the crap. I met my girl who is Japanese at graduate school and we have been an item since (2003). I met her parents in the U.S. when they came down to her graduation, same as mine. Her father took us out to dinner…and they stayed wt my place. Her parents paid for me to come to Japan and stay in tokyo for 5 weeks at a hotel, all expense paid. My girl took a job at Intel KK as a business analyst in Tsukuba and I visit her every year since 2005. We travel back and forth every year and talk every day on the phone and email. She is a professional women (37, like me). We met when we were 32 ears old. We are getting married in March 2009 after I graduate from OCS (Army Officer School). I am in the National Guard in CA right now as well as a business consultant. I have met all her friends and her family loves me and I have been showere with tons of gifts and taken to expensive restaurants on her parents expense. My woman treats me very nice..and it took a while for me to get use to that, because I was married before (no kids) to a white woman who’s family disowned her until we got divorced.
You guys need to find a Japanese woman! Not the silly Shinjuki or Roppongi girls. Those girls are just like the ones you try to avoid back home in the States. Get a woman that brings something to the table. A career woman, who is not into playing games and actually has something to do other than spend daddy’s money or yours on “designer” goods. I hooked up with alot of women in the States before I met my woman and there is simply no comparison. I don’t spoil her with gifts…just treat her nice…educate her in my culture and we have a common goal.
When I walk through tokyo and see the glam girls looking at me or expect me to approach them, when I am alone, I simply be the way I am in the States, completely ignore them.
Hope this helps.
Mr. Tibett
Your post was almost ok.
I think you have a great woman because she’s a great woman. Not because she’s of certain race. Please just don’t generalize.
They are not a brand, company or flavor you recommend.
Hey Mr. Tibett,
Not to call you out but 35 is the max age for OCS.
I met A jap girl online and she toatlly misrepresented herself and not in status and education, she was just but ugly fat, a huge head, triangles for breasts and bad breath from an abces tooth.
The only reason I knew she was a chick was because she had her period shortly after we met here in the U.S.
I sponsered her and drove her around, I was completely nice and she wanted more. Even though she was a complete dog I treated her nice trying to find that inner beauty that everyone talks about. It was nothing but a corpse inside.
She actually emailed me to say that it wasn’t working out. I laughed.
KP
Wow…you just deserve some big fat karma for your post.
Once again…another once that says “jap”
reallly…where are you guys from?
Kevin, that’s hilarious…ROTFLMAO!!!
Hi I’m Imran from Pakistan but now in china student i like japanes girls
yeah….good for you buddy.
As much as I really want to travel to Japan one of these days, I believe thatanywhere you go in life, Japanese girls will obtain different personalities Just like yankees girls.
It may be flattering to have a smutty Japanese girl smile at you in Roppongi, don’t just them trick you into their silly trance of love!!!! More likey, ur more and less some sort of gaijin toy or action figure that they could showcase to their friends and family.
And for you Christians out their, remember, the majority of Women in Japan have no morals, so as far as treating you like a human, they will generally treat you well only under obligation from their culture and not influnces by individual mind sets…….in other words,most of them doesn’t really understand what souls are for or lack the deep feelings we westerns pertray in pulic
Kyle
Go to hell. Did you really say Japaneses women have no morals? and YOU DO?????
And you know all this because???????
How the fuck do you think it’s ok to claim a certain country has no soul?
Get to know people before you open your fucking mouth you racist bastard.
And the U.S. with the shortest amount of history in this world has the most soul???……right. You need to get out more and get over yourself.
Im 42 yrs old guy.. who just endured a 4 month relationship with a japanese 21 yr old college student. i can attest to this . It was like heaven for me. i mean im 42 ! Im in great shape now but wasnt at the beginning.. kinda fat actually. I experienced the most incredible 4 months of my life… we toured New England and went to the redsox championship series.. she actually bought us game 7 tix and took me . On the other hand… after she went to Japan it was like a different person. Like Kyle states.. it seems she lacks the soul and feelings westerners portray, It has been hard for me cos she acts as if im a stanger now… and regrets me. just have fun i guess.. ??? Dont expect true love.. it is not part of their culture.. some marriages are succesfull without expectation of love. she never understood we were soulmates..and we were..The mistake i made was saying how much i loved her..
Ronny
True love is not part of the culture eh? Who do you think you are?
Just because you had once bad experience and you generalize and label a country as having no soul?? Your racist bastard.
Seriously you can go to hell with Kyle.
Get over it!
It was a holiday romance for her, I m afraid. Now its back to reality to marry that J guy who works at the bank her parents approve of.
This guy I know who lives in China now said this, and its true
“With every Japanese girl I was with in Japan, I felt like I was just their vacation from their everyday drab lives”
vacations have to end sometime.
Ronny,
I loved your story. I too met a 22 year old Japanese student when I was 36 years old and it was for me anyways the happiest time in my life. She was lovely and gentle and kind. Likewise, she went back to Japan and changed over night in her attitude to me. It was as if I’d dreamed it all and perhaps I had misunderstood…
All I can say, as an explanation to myself, is I think to be Japanese is to be unexplainable to the rest of the world. I think she was very lonely away from home and needed love. To be a Japanese girl is maybe the hardest thing in the world for their society is still very feudal and women are still not equal to men with much heart ache as they watch their fathers drift away from their mothers and feel that love lasts until you are 40…….
I guess I also helped her stay alive and fed when her money was scarce and I took a lot of the worry off her…. I know she feels a shame in this regard when all I feel is gratitudde she let me help.
I think also, when they think of settling down with a foreign man they worry will their babies look japanese which is the only look they want for their children…
If I lived life again and had to bear one mistake only it would be loving her. I hope she finds someone who loves and cares for her gentle heart. We (guys) all want old fashioned love but we want it on our modern terms with girls like her and maybe, just maybe, we forget the experience however short was worth it.
I love you Akiko:)
Ronny,
I had a somewhat similar experience as you. I’m 24 now but I was dating a 26 year old Jap girl in America. She was there for a year, and I met her during her last 6 months there. Anyway I know all about the whole soul mate thing you’re talking about. It was all over once she realized she was never coming back. Things between us changed before she returned to Japan. I don’t know though, we both realized it could never work because of lots of things. I couldn’t just give up so easily though.. I was supposed to stay with her on a trip to Japan, but that didn’t work out.. It was like you said she was a totally different person.
Now I’m living in Japan. I was interested in the country before I met her so I decided to live my dream still, even without her. I had never planed on moving here before, but after a vacation here I had to come back.
Living here has given me lots of perspective on how she must have felt. I find myself thinking about how I shouldn’t fall in love here because of the problems and difficulties it would entail. At the same time, sometimes I think I could just stay here indefinitely, but is that what I really want? I think I would really miss home being gone for a long time. I don’t know how to describe it but I really do understand why she did what she did now that I’m in the same situation.
Finally, I would like to say that what you say about Japanese people having no souls or whatever just isn’t true. For the most part people here are no different that back home, well in the sense there are selfish assholes and nice people that actually care about others. Not just because of social pressure. The selfish ones are just harder to pick out here. There are a few people here that I have that will probably be friends for life. Not many, but that true back home too. Just date a girl from the country and you’ll do fine. Just like back home. haha.
Stay there longer and you will understand the culture and the “soul” all the other racist bastards are claiming Japan doesn’t have.
Whatever experience you had with a girl…don’t generalize and judge a culture.
Why you felt the need to share a “japanese” relationships experience on this site…i don’t know…it’s like you’re sharing an experience on how a certain dish tasted…
anyhoo….FYI “Jap” is not ok
Hello im D’ANDRE LEWIS I’m not from there but i really love all tokyo girls they are so sexy and preety i wish i can have all of them well not all but some i really but thats all love you all down there and ya’ll have a nice place but thats all see you later and this is my cell number 9144592 tell all the girls to call me thanks
perv
I will be some where in Tokyo in 3 weeks.Does anyone have a must do list?
Get to know real people….not the stereotype
if you find me,japanese girl,its your luck not mine
Looking for a Japanese girl friend 30 – 40 years old living some were close to Misawa, AB. brreed@live.com
now stayin in tokyo u can call in my sel ph 08038961295
wow, so many of you guys sound like you’re either the kind who can’t get laid “back home” and the rest seem downright bitter! there were a couple of you who seemed realistic and down-to-earth, but dang, a scary lot! I’m sure many of you guys go to Japan expecting to find love and plenty of sex..well get over it and don’t blame the “jap girls”. they’re no different than the white ho’s back home! Asia in general is the kind of place where money talks, or so it would seem moreso on the surface but it’s not that different from anywhere else. however, part of japanese culture is that people don’t show their true minds but will go along with something despite how they really feel–not a whole lot if individualism is encouraged here. furthermore, they are a highly developed society and of course money is important! it’s like that everywhere! you should know this before going to a place like Japan, and not expect so much. finally, I have to agree that Korean gals are WAAAY better looking than japanese ones–and they’re at least worth the headaches, though they can be evil as well! if you’re fool enough to fall for it, whether from J or K gal, then that’s YOUR fault. don’t blame these girls for trying to have fun and get what they want. not like you’re going in with innocent intentions! you’re just as much to blame. to all you white guys: stop expecting some tame lotus flower!
Thank you for post….I think.
Thank you for your post….I think.
Alright, let me add a more down-to-earth comment to this subject. I am currently trying out a long distance relationship with a Japanese woman. I met her by accident in my homeland when she was on vacation by herself. I completely fell for her, and luckily she fell for me as well. I just want to make some breathing space for curious men out there: Not every J-girl thinks only about Louis Vuitton purses or has to call everything kawaii. Although indeed this culture is based more on being cute, rather than sexy (which I can only encourage) there are plenty more down to earth women out there with whom you can have normal conversations and who can act like adults. My girlfriend is an example of this.
Secondly, if you, as a foreigner, are looking for a Japanese woman, you should perhaps not learn too much and adapt too much to the Japanese culture. Women who will fall for foreign men will usually have a more free spirit and they will understand that you are a stranger to their ways and means. Don’t try to adapt, they will think you are insecure and weak. I never adapted to her way of life. The only thing I sorta got hooked on was the Japanese food. It’s awesome.
I think one of the reasons that this woman (who is eight years older than me) fell for me is because of my confidence and lack of adapting. I have never been desparate to meet her, she just crossed my path one day. I showed her around in my country for a few days, we became friends, and so it continued to love eventually. What I’m trying to say is this: Don’t look for Japanese women specifically. They come in nice and less nice versions just like any other culture. Although they look much more polite and friendly on the outside, they will only show you their true selves after some time. I used to think my girlfriend was such a shy girl. Until we got more intimate. She is a wild woman, she is naughty, she will tease me every chance she gets and she wants me to tease her. I heard this one day, I don’t know in how far it’s true: Japanese women want you to be secure about yourself, they rather want you to tease them then tell them how much you like them all day long. They’d rather see you being independent of them than clinging on to them too much.
Hope this makes up for the comments before me. Once again, I am not a J-girl hunter. I never really thought about having a Japanese girlfriend until this year. Although I did always admire their beauty. I did have a general interest in Japanese culture, but that’s basically as far as I go.
I m not trying to rain on your parade but one reason she fell for you is because she is 8 years older than you. This means 1. she is a bit more mature; dont expect adult behavaiour from Japanese until they are at least 30.
2. More distrubingly, Japan is a youth cult. Older men are all after schoolgirls or at least younger women. what is surprising is that the women are too, and have watched too many episodes of “Sex and the City”. Not that they usually get that younger man, though, but what are host clubs for?
3. Connected to 2. there is the anglophile type; an older J woman who goes to London, or NY etc specifically to get it on with younger men. Think ageing pop star Matsuda Seiko and Jeff the NY waiter.
4. there is pressure on Japanese women to get married by a certain age. 30 being the usual deadline, after which they are called “loser dogs”.
I m not saying she doesnt love you, but I am saying that Japanese have less freewill to act that western societies because of their traditionally repressive society. So she has a variety of reasons for falling for you, and thats fine.
and you know this because……..???
good to know that you’ve “studied” the Japanese culture enough to give such sound advice. Look at the girls in your own country before you judge girls oversees you ass.
Dennis..
I appreciate your post and that you were not looking “specifically” for a Japanese girl AND for not being racist. You fell for a person and not a stereotype. Hope it’s going well.
Just one thing…I don’t know why you posted on this site after reading all of the other horrible racist posts before you. Girls of different races are not a brand or flavor that white men decide to try and then share their experiences with others. Don’t think you will be posting your dating experience with a white girl.
In any case…good luck to you.
So your advice, Lee, would be to join in the chorus “Kawaiiiiiiiiiii neko chan!”?
the talk here sounds like ur treating them as objects to be bought especialy the people at the begining of this.
if girls know you like this only the sluts will still want in, but im sure you peopl at the top find that just fine.
For all you f***ing racist bastards out there. I just read all of your posts and am just speechless and disgusted. First of all, what makes you guys so different from them if you’re going out there looking specifically for an asian girl? What… you think you’re gonna get it good because they’re gonna rub your feet, pour you a drink and be your sex slave? If you were looking for a specific race to date and grab to first asian you see, obviously you’re not trying to fall in love….so you all deserved what you got. There are gold-diggers everywhere. Asian, white, latin or black…if you treat them like a whore, they’re gonna suck every penny outta ya. That makes women smarter than you. You call them materialistic? Look in the mirror guys. YOU are materializing them. So, what about the blonde bimbos strolling down Beverly Hills with their fake boobs and botox face spending their sugar daddy’s money? The 16 year olds on myspace or adult friendfinder sites trying to get a lay from older guys?
Think before you speak assholes.
Here are some tips for you close minded sick pervs.
1) Do your homework first before you judge a country. If you think the US is the most ”soulful” country in this world, you need to get out more or maybe get an education. How are you guys expecting to really connect with these people if you can’t even communicate with them? Every other country in this world EXCEPT the US has real history going back thousands of years, so claiming a certain country to not have soul is probably something you don’t want to say…
2) It’s OBVIOUS that all of you have only been to Tokyo and basing your opinion on one little city or one girl that actually gave you the time of day. Have you been to the rest of the country? Have you seen the country side? Have you talked to the elderly that survived the war? Have you gotten to know a family? A mother and father who will pour sweat, tears and blood to support and love their family? You visit a website, read an article or visit a country for a few months and you think you know it all? Seriously guys.
3) It’s not ok to call them “japs”
You all are probably the types that claim you’re opened minded, cultured and never racist. What you need to understand is that it’s not the obvious things. It’s these subtle things that make you racist. “japs are better!” “japs are whore with no soul!”
“koreans are better!” “I want an asian girl!” ‘White girls are better!” “they have no morals!”
Wow people…..you all deserve karma
What… you think you’re gonna get it good because they’re gonna rub your feet, pour you a drink and be your sex slave?
haha, I WISH. They tend to only do that for Japanese husbands who work in a high paid job. The “contract” between them is that he is the bread winner who works himself to death to pay those rising taxes and insurances for wifey, who puts his slippers on when he comes home and collapses in an armchair, exhausted.
(too exhausted for sex, but thats ok, she didnt really fancy him that much anyway. but she wants to please her parents, and he does have a good job even though hes got chronic halitosis.)
OK, I m being mean but I ve seen all of the above at close hand.
Disgusted,
I feel your pain. You are an idealist. Eventually, you will become a realist and a proponent of Eugenics. I have. Don’t waste your energy on the lost in the dark.
See the one below. It was meant for you (too many beers at happy hour).
Okay~~ Hopefully, I get this pasted in the right place.
Disgusted, you are burning too many calories. There is a Confucias (spelling probably off) saying, The Teacher will appear, when the Student is ready. And Dude, the majority of humanity is just not ready for your idealistict…. gosh.. Uh.. you know.. they don’t. They obectify… Anyway.. I am going to have another beer.
Wish you could join me. We’d have some good arguments. Oh.. I am pasting this hoping you will get it.
Disgusted,
I feel your pain. You are an idealist. Eventually, you will become a realist and a proponent of Eugenics. I have. Don’t waste your energy on the lost in the dark.
why does everybody not care about the native americans who were around for 16,000 so get your facts straight before you say that america has no soul i agree with you though about all these people just wanting to get laid by a japanese girl and to all you people who have been judging japan based off one person or one city try going to other citys in japan then just tokyo and all girls are not the same
want japanese girlfriend………….who also can speak english a little cause my japanese in not perfect.now i am in takamatsu.
Dork~
To disgusted:
I ve been in Japan for 15 years and base my observations on the hundreds of women I have encountered closely. I speak Japanese and am a director of a Japanese company, though I m tired of it.
There are some good ones, but the culture gets in the way. I ve had my heart broken twice by Japanese parents refusing to let their daughter marry a foreigner, so who is racist? They are.
Peace
I also loathe the word “jap.” It’s a very distasteful word. There seems to be a tremendous amount of ignorance regarding Japanese culture and women in this blog. I think johnholmes has some of the most intelligent statements of anyone.
Japanese people are generally very kind, and hospitable. It is an aging nation, because of low birth rates, where nearly one quarter of the population is over 65. Fewer young people are forced to work many more hours to make up the difference for all the retirees.
As to the women, they are not all interested in foreigners, not by a long shot. In the Tokyo area, you may experience a substantial interest by many of the younger girls especially, but consider yourself more of a novelty item than someone they would consider taking home to mommy and daddy. The lower caliber girls, especially young women (18-24) or so are fancied by fashion and glitz and glamour. Suffice it to say, if you’re a strapping man with lots of money, you shouldn’t have much trouble attracting your share of young gold diggers. If you’re looking for a higher caliber women, then your facing as much of a challenge in Japan as in your native country most likely.
My fiancé is Japanese, and I see all of her friends, most of whom probably fit this stereotype. The thing to remember though, is that these are all just that, stereotypes. Back to what I said at the beginning. Japanese people tend to be very friendly and hospitable, which may come off to some as some sort of erotic interest, when in fact they are just being nice.
Rule of thumb: DON’T READ TOO MUCH INTO IT!!
Remember, it’s a different culture. Treat the people with respect and kindness and expect the same in return. Cheers!
I agree with all of the above, except this bit:
“Remember, it’s a different culture. Treat the people with respect and kindness and expect the same in return. Cheers!”
NO.
You cant “expect” that from the Japanese in return. You might get it, you might not. Its fair to say you ll get back a lot less than you put out (unless you just mean shopkeepers being polite). Talking about females more likely they ll take your free dinner or gaijin experience then disappear; they will NEVER take you out to dunner in return, dream on on that one!
There is another blog on topix where someone writes they (the young women) will “exploit western kindness so dont bother”.
“Western kindness” means things like giving a stranger a spare umbrella in a downpour, or actually helping some girl being abused by a homeless drunk on the train.
Why? Because in Japan you re not supposed to help. You ll embarrass them, it draws attention to them in public, it shames them. You re supposed to ignore them at all times. Sounds weird I know, heartless and inhuman even. Its why I m leaving.
Also, Japanese never want to incur “giri” or obligation, to people. Especially strangers. So they ll turn down your request for the umbrella, OR take it grudgingly and never return it (because thats “giri”).
I also tend to feel that this is due to Confucian and western ideals being at odds. Confucian values mean you have to respect EVERYONE, even if they re a doddering old fool. In the west, respect is more earned. I sometimes feel Japanese actually have a big ego and want the respect from you that they dont deserve. They want to be treated with deference just because they work at such and such a company or go to a famous university, or because their husband is a doctor.
The last one is based on something that really happened when i was a lowly teacher. I level checked this lady who was married to a doctor at a lower level than she felt she was entitled to be at; her husband even came into the school to complain and said “I am a doctor at blah hospital so WHY is my wife only low intermediate?”
Japan also desperately wants western respect at all levels; this goes back to the Meiji era. Japan’s quest for an empire was to emulate the west and gain respect, even while western empires were on the wane in the 30s, being replaced with more liberal attitudes.
But they want it on their terms, ie. G8 membership and seat on the security council but while continuing to hunt whales for the sake of it and not sign the Hague Convention on child abduction, etc etc etc.
I ve wandered a bit here but I do see a parallel between the respect they seem to expect, on all levels, but perhaps dont always “deserve”. E.g. the Ojisan (older man) on the street who thinks he can tell you what to do, the Japanese idol singer (Matsuda, Utada, etc) who thinks American success is owed to her because Japanese music products sell, etc etc.
Or the tall dyed blonde gym instructor who thinks I owe her dinner, drinks and love hotel costs, even though she forgot my birthday and shes really not that good looking, and doesnt seem to realise I m not that interested in forking out that kind of money for her. lol.
Her attitude dates back to Japan’s economic glory days (“my boyfriends have always paid for me”) and J-women are trying to maintain that lifestyle…..
…by all means necessary, in some cases!
I’m a finnish guy so i cannot say about culture diffrences between japanese and amercans but i think that finnish people may understand japansese thinking better than americans.
I have been in Fukuoka in last summer fot three weeks and i have to say that japanese girls are not two faced golddiggers. Finland is high developed country like japan and most of western countries so have to say t´most of them won’t need your money. And golddiggers are everywhere.
You talking about girls who treat you like a toy and broke your hearts. I have to say that it’s not only japanese girls. I think it’s everywhere in countres which have homogenous population.
I have friend from India and he lives in finland like i do. He said to me that its se hard to find a finnsh gf.
He told that most of finnish girls using him as a toy just like some guys told me about japanese girls. Now he have a good finnish girlfriend and he is so happy, He told me that in indian culture people don’t wat that their children marry to non indian. His father thinks thatt al finnish women are cheating sluts with problems with alcohol. that isn’t true and it hearts me a lot.
But its totally same when peolple here say that japanese women have no soul etc.
Finnish girls are same like players. And you have to remember that you are from another race so some girls want only sex and fun. But they want real relationship only japanese guy. It’s not so easy live with foreigner in homogenous society. People from another race in finland are in samelike situation. Racism is not so nice thing against you and your fiancee.
I lived with host family in Fukuoka and i talking alot about japanese women. They told me that people in western societies are more adult than japanese. I am 23 now and i think its better to date older women in japan. So maybe it’s better dat with older ones.
But it depents. And i have some friends in japan (all are women). Thats true that they are different in Japan. In other countries they are more polite. But they are like every women in the world. I couldn’t understand how some men talking them like they are some monsters.
Please don’t generalize people because they acting different than you amercans.
And dont think that people thinks that americans are good people. In europe some people says that you are really twofaced and it’s dangerous trust what you are saying.
Think about that. Are you liars?
Personally have to say that before i went to japan i didn’t know what is beatiful woman. I just love their beauty and i love how they act. I just love them…
I’m not native speaker of english so i’m very sorry about my mistakes with language
Cheers
first, excuse my inelegant post, doing this by mobile web. second, i’m not japanese (at least this incarnation anyway) & have not been there or dated any women from there. however, i have been interested in the land, language, culture & it’s people for years. there is certainly ”soul” to be found. it’s not always great, but that’s true anywhere. japan is no heaven, there is racism there too. but it’s no hell either. i admit to looking for a japanese woman to date, but it’s more than looks. i probably…
..have more commonality with *some* japanese women than i do with the vast majority of women here in the west. i’ve no interest in the type that control freaks dream of either. fancying the likes of shena ringo for example should do well to speak of the kind of women i like. strong, intelligent & yes, gorgeous iconoclasts. badass, at times a bit crazy in a good way & hopefully very mature & loving. it’s hard to find a good match anywhere. are looks a factor? sure. anyone says otherwise is lying…
..but for me, it’s about so much more than that. call me naive, but i’m looking for true love, not a casual dalliance. plus a there are a number of other things which also makes a bit of practical sense. but there is a stigma for favoring japanese (or any asian) women. as there likely is for interested women, especially if they feel just as serious about their partner. ah, well that’s life. adaiyo.
Dude~. You are Naive~ Good luck.
I am currently teaching English in Japan and this is my second trip here. All I can say really is that if you want to meet decent girls, you wont do so at dodgy gaijin bars in the centre of the city. The decent Japanese girls are out in the suburbs with their family. If you insist on picking up girls in the gaijin bars, you will end up with dirty skanks that have fucked every single marine in the area.
You look into their eyes and can’t believe that such a cute and innocent looking girl (even the 30 year olds look like they’re 13) could have a bad bone in her body, but trust me, there are plenty of evil, money grubbing sluts prowling the streets. I wont be like the rest of the posters on this board and say that it’s because they’re Japanese – I’ll go one step further and say it’s because they’re females, and if you haven’t worked it out yet, that’s what females are like. If you want your wallet to be drained and don’t care that these girls have fucked everybody, then go right ahead. They will seem like the kind, caring type, but it’s just the game they play to get their claws into foreign men.
That said though, if you’re after a relationship, there are plenty of decent girls on offer – you just have to look in different places than you would in the USA or UK or wherever you’re from. If you’re living in the country you will have a great chance to do this. Leave the dirty whores to the marines who have no choice but to go where they know – ie. go to the gaijin bars, which is where the predator types will lie in wait with beads of spittle popping out their gnarled, dried up lips. Drinking at bars is not part of Japanese culture, so most of the Japanese don’t do it. Try your best to meet women through other avenues… You wont regret it.
hi i can’t comment too much on this topic as i have only visited japan twice on holidays, i 100% agree with johnholmes mind you and to be honest couldnt really add much more to his posts, he has a very level head in this quite frankly crazy arguement.
but i will say this to disgusted i understand some of you rants to people using “jap” and other racist terms but seriously man you go on and on about generalization and such, but even some of your comments on here to people sharing their life experiences and trying to broaden the conversation to more than just a mindless slagging match have been “to be fair” quite rude, it seems to me that maybe you have had bitter experiences with such matters because you yourself seem to have a lot of pent up anger and rage, i would like to thank some of the comments left on here about their life experiences with partners from japan because i came on here trying to find out if the stigma about japanese women etc was true and to read about real life experiences and as usual which is true to most internet rubbish it has turned into an arguement.
so to close this up thankyou to the people who have be open and honest, to so “so called racists”, who might i add probably dont realise “jap” is offensive to some, broaden your knowledge of what is acceptable and what is not when speaking about others and to disgusted, stop spending your life on the internet raging at people who are only expressing their views and seriously go out and enjoy life.
Peace
hi,
i want a japan girl friend
Great. Get in line.