Electronic aids are nothing new in the Japanese home, with devices available for a variety of tasks – including entertaining children and caring for the elderly.
Some manufacturers, however, have decided to move away from such practical concerns, focusing much more on personal pleasure. This, erm, mechanical masturbator being a prime example.
For frustrated fellas reticent to subject their genitalia to a rather severe looking synthetic squeeze, the appliance comes with other, slightly less alarming attachments.
Removal of the ‘hand’ for example allowing for straightforward insertion, with the machine kindly taking care of all necessary movements.
Such versatility making it a real a bargain at only 34,500 yen (170 pound). Comfortably beating the competition hands down.
There's also the option of following Tokyo Times by RSS, and now even Twitter too.
{ 30 trackbacks }
{ 147 comments… read them below or add one }
What next? A robot that complains it has a headache?
Obesity is rising in proportion to newly diagnosed cases of diabetes.
Off topic- Did you guys know the Pussy Cat Dolls are fake?! I read this here:
http://www.domeafavorbuddy.com/favorfull.asp?id=247&catid=9
I’m crushed!
masturbating isn’t dirty anymore… jeezzz
versatility or perversatility?
er…ok. How bored were they when they came up with this?
will it make me go blind?
Oh come on people! Get a grip!
It also accommodates the EXTREME Masturbator with a vibrating butt plug (top pic) attached to a phone line incase you’d like to call someone.
Give a HOLE new meaning to the slogan “Reach out and Touch someone!”
Would you get arrested using it whilst driving and if not, is there an adaptor to plug it in the cigarette lighter?
I just wan to know something: does it come in different sizes?
And if you’ve had enough of a wank you can even make a cake mix….. what wanker thought of this….. LOL
Do they make it in Large?
What is that other part on picture 1 , with the cable .
Is that a butt plug.
Well i guesh then this machine is made for Gay
This is sweet.. where do I put in my order.
Do they make an attachment with a tissue dispenser?
You have to give there people a hand for being original. it’s hard to get a grip of how they even made such a thing! Amazing! What will they think of next…
As the Dude once said, “I perfer to jerk off manually”
subspace
Rejoyce …rejoyce … no more hair in my hands
And it makes one hell of a shaken marquirita.
WTF? VALHALLA ROXORS! ALL OF US SHOULD PLACE BULK ORDER!!!
damm they have toys for ladies but not for men thats a good one lol
ok this is too much.. goddamn.. people are weirder every day. The world is going to hell.. >:(
Isn’t this the same company that made the salad shooter?
i will buy three *laughs*
The comments are the best part of this page!
If it comes with a paint shaker attachment I’m in for one!
Does this device come in either right or left handed models??? Us lefties have rights too you know…
Speed controls? Range of motion controls? Does it simulate switching hands when tired? Does it lose a stroke, or is the transition smooth?
Does it have UL certification
After a week of using this product I lost 10 pounds!!!!!
Great idea! Leaves hands free for beer and a piece of pizza.
choices choices
XBOX 360…ERM…
I’m going to buy one and take it to the footie.
Hold it up in front of the opposition.
The ultimate insult.
Also the butt plug extention can help stir my tea (those little white sticks just dont do the job)
Is it avaliable on hire purchase?
Haha.
90 day satisfaction guarentee or your money back
Although…the worst would have to be someone selling it second hand. Literally.
Do they make a double ended ones for us gay lads…
\m/\m/
Rock on!!
Gosh look goood i want one.
Neat~ I want one.
But what if it malfunctions and blows up/applies too much pressure?
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, and one of these.
Ridicule
Very good.
wow… wtf!
real F… lol
jay snyder, your upgrade has now arrived….
experience the pleasure of hand free..er………pleasure.
There once was a man named McQueen,
Who invented a wanking machine.
Convex for girls,
Concave for boys,
And attachments for those in-between!
But where is the ethernet interface and the remote control applet?
There once was a man from Raceen
Who invented a beat off machine
Concave or convex
It would suit either sex
But oh what a mother to clean!
Japones tem q mesmo que ter essas ideias, nao come ninguem, ahuhuahuahuhua
Vão se fuder seus bando de punheteiros…!
O rappael aki de manaus quer uma máquina dessa pois ele tá com a mão cheia de calo de tanto bater punheta >>>>>
Que coisa fofa! O cara é duplamente masturbado enquanto assiste tv. Aquele vibrador de brinde é foda.
I’m in to interacial love….can I get one with a black hand?
Does the hand get hot for more pleasure ?
essa ideia é pra quem não comu mulher e que fica só na vontade.
oi Adriana quer bater um papo comigo???
Meu hotmail: sherlon_soares@hotmail.com
sherlonsoares@gmail.com
Ai Japoneses querem Pussy Lover’s venham aqui no Brazil…. aqui tem de montão e gostosas mesmo….
OMG! this must be the new Nintendo Revolution I’ve been hearing about on the internets! o_0
Shit… I Want one NOW
.. Finally a toy for men that seems to work, and i hope it can mix drinks after it have done what it is made for..
is it dishwasher safe?
http://www.wordpress.tokyotimes.org/?p=702
Hey Fred & Muska, got the pictures…can’t make out baby features yet…she’s one big baby…hmmm I want one too! =)
Fred, guess you won’t need this contraption any longer huh?! =)
Laters,
Geoff
Can I use it in an aircraft during take-off?
Holy crap! That’s one amusing invention. Well, at least we know it might stem the AIDs epidemic if it becomes popular. IF. But then who would subject his sensitive family jewels to a machine? What if the machine goes crazy??
How lazy can people get?? rofl
Yu tossers! You’ve put me out of a job, I used to give hand jobs for cash, how can that happen if you are creating these – these Robots to wank people!
Thankyou VERY much !
As long as it doesn’t bitch and complain what the heck! You don’t even have to take it out for a dinner and a movie!
The Answer to Maureen Dowd’s book, “Are Men Necessary?”
Further info for aquisition
rrreeeqqquuuiiirrreeeddd
I want one too
HA HA HA COISA DE JAPA QUE NÃO PEGA MUIÉ! Afinal, o piru da japaiada é microscópico! HA HA HA HA AH AHAHAHAH
Stop Punhetation;
Fuck the Bucetation!!!
[Metal Bucetation - Massacration]
This sucks Mann!!
I prefer the good and old Vagina! hehehehe
sera que na segunda versão ele podem adapta-la para chupar também???
hua hua hua ! Falta lançarem a versão no tamanho para o brasileiro! E uma versão feminina para a Adriana, que ficou invejosa! Dá-lhe na DRI DRI!!!
carai de asa esses jap num tem mulhe fica inventando o PUNHETA 2000 i ainda é em tamanho ppp…
works like a charm. one good thing for us bodybuilders….. no uneven arm muscle growth
legal
Dunno bout you guys, that hand makes me H O R N Y!
Yea baby, yea!
ahahaha! Only in Japan!
I wonder who tested these before it was released to the markets.
That leads me to wonder, what happened to the people who first tried the prototypes. Overheating of the wires, causing burns?
yEEEAAAHHHH! NOW I DONT NEED TO GO OUT HUNTING PUSSY!!!!!!!!!!!
Imagine explaining that one to your mum…
Jeez Oz, what’s to explain? : )
I wonder if Pee Wee Herman will be the spoke person for it. The music could be its got the whole world in its hand
grêmio, brasil yaehhhhh
oh yes it´s bom pra nóis punheteiro
Thats because japanese arent good at scoring with chicks. Now they have a solution.
Yo wazzap fockas I just bought that damn thing cause I just went to that shity country.. it actually works.. im telling ya
ummm whoever said “is is dishwasher safe”… would you want to put it in with your dishes?
Wow, they must be making money hand over fist!
o bobo jerferson , ja encomendou né?
n é so japa q n pega ng, vcs são todos arames lisos so cerca e n pega nada
ah eu sobrando kkkkkkkkkk
aposto q após essa invensão definitivamente vcs serão mais preguiçosos
quando falsificarem eu compro…
Pedi um pro KKI ele precisa
Mi nombre es luis Rodriguez de Panama,
En los años 80 vi en un suplemento japones que venia en la hustler de los primeros bosquejos de esta maravillosa maquina que ha cambiado mi vida. Ahora me siento completo, esto ha llenado un vacio que nadie me ha podido llenar o mejor dicho que yo no he podido llenar.
Creo que cada hombre insatisfecho deberia tener uno en su cama, en el carro, en la oficina.
simplemente quiero decir:
GRACIAS MENS SOM!!! me has salvado la vida.
Mi nombre es Carlos Barcenas, y también soy de Panama. Hace años me vi forzado a comprar un aparato masturbador femenino en forma de un voluptuoso Pene hombre africano para metermelo en la boca, ya que nada mas la abro para decir impertinencias, las que comunico también de forma escrita y por señas. Este desorden se desarrolló porque desde pequeño vivo en una burbuja plástica que me protege del oxígeno al que soy alérgico y ha resultado en daño permanente a mi cerebro, y a la vez me privó de toda capacitación para interactuar en sociedad. Me gusto tanto el aparato que ordené otro para metermelo por el hueco del pipi y zarandearme las piedras que tengo en los riñones, costumbre que adquirí desde niño. Lo recomiendo para todos.
En nombre del Asilo Matias Hernandez de Panama, quiero pedir disculpas a la comunidad masturbatoria cibernetica por la actividad de nuestros pacientes Luis “el Maletas” Rodriguez y Carlos “Burbujito” Barcenas. Estos dos fascinerosos fueron internados en el sistema psiquiatrico panameño hace años por adiccion a la pornografia y por una fijacion anal respectivamente. Como parte de un programa piloto en que se le daba a los internos uso de computadoras para que se convirtieran en miembros productivos de la sociedad, Maletas y Burbujito accidentalmente recibieron acceso al internet. Le quiero asegurar a la comunidad internacional que ambos lunaticos han sidos amarrados a un palo de mamon y fueteados con ramas de jobo, un innovador tratamiento desarrollado por nuestro fundador, el Dr. Z. De nuevo, pedimos disculpas por cualquier alarma que hayan causado susodichos pacientes.
Pueta
parece q é pequeno, sera que tem um pro meu penis de 18 cm?????
wetnq36nw6 mey5n w5yn ys enyq45y6n w436yw5ys
OMg… thats awesome… that will fuck u up when ur driving tho… proly gonna make it illegal to drive with soon…. DUI style…
I hope it’s dual voltage.Remember….on the 99th stroke the bloody thing broke and whipped his bollocks to cream
(
Mas que porra é essa coisinha? não se parece com nada!! bando de escroto… não conseguem comer mulheres e ficam inventando essas merdas…
Holy shit Lee. This must be the most comments you’ve ever received…and it’s for a robotic handjob toy
caralho q komedia
mrs. Right would probobly be way to jealous if got one of these.. :/
Hi, my name is terry, i would love to get my hands on one of these so me and my boys can get randy. I just cant wait to touch Luke Harpers small one. cya later guys!!! EWWWWW
QUE BOA IDEIA
Todo japones gosta de de fio terra
Baka yarooooooooo!!!
Nendoksendaneeee…
Japa pervertido e punheteiro detected…
Old..
Product site:
http://www.somjapan.com/
Heh… Women’s version available too…
fuck wats happening with these japanese, dont u guys have chicks mates, fucking pepal r getting crazy, my hands know wat pressure i want this cud b real dangerous heheheheheheh but wont mind trying once.
lazy ass world !!!!!!
What do you say if you get stopped in customs?
I hear Dyson have an attachment that is better.
Cymru am byth!
uhuuuuuuuu!!!
Now i can use my mouse and masturbate at the same time!!
Do u have any ideia how hard is to masturbate, use your mouse or just type only with the left hand?
£170 seems a bit steep, any chance of getting a demo? whats a hand job with out a hand job..
where cani order this in english is there a website for this machine
i went to that product site and went to english but there is no order page does anyone know where i can go to order this machine…..
What’s next? A 2.0 Version with USB / Bluetooth / Ethernet / Wi-Fi with force – I mean – Sexy Feedback(r)? Could they call it SexyPod(r)? Just plug it on a computer and recall your favorites settings like amplitude, frequency, rythm and so on. Or, go online and let your favorite Virtual Muse(r) do the job. Ah, don’t forget your headphones and your credit card!
anyone know where i can get this som machine in usa….
Greeeeeeeat!!! Now all I need are some Viagra light! (they’re only for wankers)
awesome
What a great product! Just a shame I have such a small dick and and am too stupid to know how to place an order.
Oh well, back to screwing America.
Thank you for the thorough instructions
yall is stupid how many of yall order this cause u need to get some now
stupid ass
nice
We stock two of the SOM machines, we opted for the petit Som for men, it has a better mechanism and a gripping latex sleeve, rather than the un-hand like hand! It is a super little machine offering a smooth pumping action – typically Japanses I suppose you would say, SOM is to sex toys what Honda is to cars!
So far we have sold many more of the Ladys SOM, they are the ultimate sex machine. We haven’t yet been able to ascertain whether it is sole women buying the machine to use for solo play, or if men are buying them for their women so they watch…..it does bring up a whole new range of possibilities and we had one couple who bought one so they both incoroperate it into their lovemaking – almost like a threesome. Bit of a language barrier though so if anyone writes fluent Japanese please e mail me, I have real trouble communicating with them!
xx
Stephanie@Passion8.com
so…my clients wont come to me anymore ?? =((
One of these and a PS2……i’ll never leave the house!
How do I Order one of these?
that sounds like a fun little toy why hasnt anyone thought of this before. Finally no more babys!
Jag tkr att de verkar oerhört bekväma.
Anything to prevent this thing from getting stuck in the “on” position?
>Is it dishwasher safe?
no, she threw it at me
What I want to know is “Do they have an ambidextrous model?”
Strictly for up and coming young men?
Do they come in different sizes?
that hand look like a man’s hand…..it’s for gays….
goood looord, i heard only people with low sex drive has it !
Some say the inventor or sort of idea director was a woman…can you believe that? i’m afraid that someday woman might be more powerful than us and i’m pretty sure all men’s weakness IS woman….yikes
The Japanese don’t have anything over the Americans. Take a look at http://www.mylovemachine.com. Now that’s Yankee Ingenuity.
jaewle slörunkare
Where Can I get one and How Much
Where can I get one and how much
Haha, some lazy people out there!
I’m buying mine this week, i’ve already emailed my boss for the week off! I can’t wait to get my hands on this, all for a bargain £170
PUTA QUE O PARIU!
ESSE TA FODA!
OS CARA VÃO BATER UMA AGORA ASSIM???
FICARAM COM INVEJA DO VIBRADOR DAS MULHERES
SÓ TENHO MAIS UMA COISA A DIZER DESSES JAPONESES VIADOS…
TA FODA CAMARADA!
E VIVA STALIN!
you never know with the mechanical ones… they might just yank it off!
They should make the hand look more feminine, give it a manicure and maybe a wedding ring. If I was a strait man I think I’d find it unappealing to have a manly-looking hand wank me off, no? Or it could come with man and woman hands, for those who prefer men o.O;
where can i buy one, i’m old and my arms are tired, i’m serious
She made it feels so long jizz shot ago. I.
Wow what a toy
This will surely hurt you if not put you in hospital for some stich work lol.